Expirement

Written by Kristopher Dueck, concept by Brad Reid/Oscar

                Expirement is a term coined by Oscar and defined by Brad. Fundamentally it is the commitment to growth and iteration. Experimenting over and over until you expire. Become who you truly can be, don’t be held back by stagnation.

                I began my life in abundance, provided documentaries and toys, math books and nature walks, because of this I have the privilege to thrive today. However, from the age of 12 to the age of 22 I lost this abundance. I lost my skills to learn and was blinded by detours that I regret often. In my 21^st year I lost one of my closest friends, in my 22^nd I discovered music, in my 23^rd I learned how to publish my book, and in my 24^th I discovered that I could make clothing. Halfway through my 25^th year I have discovered community which lead me to iteration. Stagnancy is death and so we must commit to growth.

                As a child I was provided a room full of toys, a radio, and math books, I chose the radio and math. Given the option to try, I was interested in learning. Because this interest was allowed to grow, I quickly turned to documentaries on the things I wanted to learn, books on topics I loved, and eventually hours on YouTube researching. I had space to try new things, I played in the band, ran track, and played football. But I didn’t have space to fail or dislike these things, quitting was never an option, straying from my commitments was never an option, or so I thought. Most of my pressure, in retrospect, was internalized. My mom thought I loved football because I was excited in the beginning and then too anxious to tell her I hated it, she thought I wanted to go to university because I said I did and I felt like if I didn’t, I was failing. I did not understand that we are allowed to change, and in fact, we are required to.

                The discovery of a new skill or passion is an enlightenment that most people never experience, not due to any personal failing but solely due to their situation. School at its lowest level teaches us to listen, memorize, and repeat, as you enter higher levels the focus should shift to understanding of concepts, pattern recognition, and problem solving. Unfortunately, because most school systems do not have the funding to allow children the opportunity to be confident, many kids never learn these skills. When you are taught to understand concepts, you can figure out the relation between notes to create chords, the layers to create melodies, the tunings of your guitar, the emotion of the chords and how it progresses the song. When you are taught pattern recognition you can identify your own failings and help yourself grow, further through building authentic connections you can do this with your friends as well. Through problem solving you can find career opportunities that align with your lifestyle, find peers who can help you learn more, and find what you truly need.

                Many who pick up a new skill begin to understand these concepts but often do not fully and so, eventually, they stagnate. I started making music in my room, spending entire weekends, 4-8 songs a weekend (depending how intoxicated I got myself). In the first two weeks I made a lot of progress but weeks 3-7 I became stuck and decided to show my friends. They said it sucked. BUT If they had not been honest, I would not have become who I am today, they critiqued what was bad and applauded me for what was good, and that allowed me to see clearly and further understand the bigger picture, what things do I like, that other people ALSO like. I wasn’t giving up my creative vision, I was just further aligning with the ones I loved.

                Life is a thing of growth and change. Your soul dies when you stop creating, your heart dies when you stop loving, and you die when your lungs stop pumping oxygen, your cells stop moving and you slowly degrade. We may rest but we must never stop, I will love even when it hurts, I will work even when no one sees it, I will care especially when no one does, and I will live, despite the fact we are all dying.